Boyd Cordner

This is a poem called “Boyd Cordner”
 
About
 
Boyd Cordner
 
Who is?
 
Boyd Cordner
 
I hear you arx, pacifically
 
What do we know about
 
Boyd Cordner. We know
 
Boyd Cordner
 
Has always been tall
 
Boyd Cordner
 
Has always been bald
 
Boyd Cordner
 
Has always been great
 
Boyd Cordner
 
Has always been 28
 
He started playing at 28
 
He came to prominence at 28
 
He peaked at 28
 
Retired at 28
 
And he is still 28
 
What an age
 
What a player
 
Captained The Chooks, NSW, and Australia
 
Chops you down like a lawn mower
 
He is seriously, the most beautiful tackler, you have ever seen
 
He leads with his shoulder, his legs swing out to the side, severance
 
Born in Taree
 
Star sign Cancer
 
The crab who always moves sideways
 
Boyd Cordner moves every fucken way
 
He will go to Prague if required
 
If he’s gotta make a tackle, he will do the 27-hour flight, for his team
 
Just to make a single defensive effort, Boyd will fly to the Czech Republic and back, and then suffer the 14 days quarantine
 
He is Boyd Cordner
 
The modern-day Steve Waugh
 
He is Boyd Cordner
 
And if there was a proper war
 
And the enemy were firing missiles at our heads
 
And my fellow soldiers were either full of dread. Dead
 
Or recently diagnosed with influenza, typhoid, trench foot or trench fever
 
Well me, Brendan Cowell, in my woollen uniform
 
Heating up the billy tea – but turning blue with cold – after being shot
 
Shelled. By an army of Melbourne Storm…troopers. All at once
 
I wouldn’t hesitate
 
I’d just yell two words
 
To the western front
 
I’d just yell
 
‘Boyd’
 
Then I’d yell
 
‘Cordner’
 
Then when he turns I’d say ‘Boydy, it’s Brendo, I met you once at a mental health talk at Fox Studios. One of my mates was running it.’
 
And he’d say ‘Oh yeah, can’t really talk, at war.’
 
And I’d say ‘Boyd Cordner. No dramas. You got any water left in your canteen?’
 
Because I’m dying of thirst and blood loss and hypothermia setting in
 
And you know what Boyd would say
 
Boyd Cordner?
 
Bleeding from the eye and lice, he has lice, but he didn’t tell anyone
 
He just fought on with the lice
 
He’d say ‘what?’
 
And I’d say ‘water’ again. But louder, and more desperate. ‘WATER!’
 
And he’d say – Body’d say – he’d just say
 
‘Nup.’
 
Because he leads with actions not words
 
He’d say
 
‘Nup, no water Brendo. Not in my canteen.’
 
And you know why Boyd Cordner has no water left in his canteen?
 
Because he already gave it to a bloke with scurvy
 
He gave it to Tom Trbojevic
 
Who has scurvy
 
Tom Trbojevic and his brother Jake Trbojevic
 
They both have scurvy, and the other brother, who isn’t as good yet
 
Also has scurvy
 
The Trbojevic brothers
 
Get scurvy every time they go to war
 
Cant believe it – so unlucky
 
Doesn’t stop em though!
 
That’s Manly. That’s…manly
 
Boyd Cordner
 
Hottest girlfriend ever
 
Though just to be more of an individual. Boyd Cordner
 
Can still be seen shirtless in waterfalls having fun with other men
 
Shirtless
 
In waterfalls
 
With other men
 
Ikuvalu, Taukeiaho, Tedesco, The Morris Twins
 
He loves to go to waterfalls with Jake Friend
 
And why wouldn’t you
 
If you were
 
Boyd Cordner
 
The selfless Cameron smith
 
Boyd Cordner
 
Noggin took a hit, staggering round can’t see, fingers crossed no CTE
 
Boyd Cordner
 
Too tough for your own good
 
Boyd Cordner
 
Would have played on if he could
 
Boyd Cordner
 
Loves his dad, because his dad - before every game - said you’re the best
 
Boyd Cordner
 
What beats within your chest
 
Before every game he played Dad said ‘Son’, Dad said ‘Boyd’, he didn’t have to say Boyd Cordner because Mr. Cordner was a Cordner too so its implicit
 
He just said ‘Boyd’
 
‘Son’
 
‘You are the best’
 
Boyd Cordner
 
The big game booster
 
Boyd Cordner
 
Cock a doodle do – hope your heads alright - brave rooster