Every morning I am reborn

Every morning I am reborn, must reteach myself to function, must learn

Tiresome tasks that always need to be redone

That are in their doing unlearned and undone

Like Jesus dragging the stone from the door only to be required to attend tedious course after course on proper wound management

I stare into the mirror, my eyes pour out of my face like two freshly torn bags of sand 

I drag my toothbrush across my teeth, willing myself to do it for two more seconds, three

Pulling it across like the heaviest ever chain on a chainsaw

Like it might come to life tear me right out of my body out of this room out of this

most mind-numbing Texas chainsaw massacre of all time 

Every morning and every morning and every morning 

And every morning after that 

How to love oneself if one is just a lousy piece of shit?

How to find radical self acceptance if you are just radically unlikeable?

How to give in to the immense unfriendliness of the universe

If you are a privileged white woman who just needs to shut the fuck up

Every morning

A huge crane drives itself into an endless pile of dirt

And nothing shifts

Every morning

The light throws itself against the powerlines and the apartment blocks

And some of the night stays, lingers in their shadow