Sagacious Ramblings

When the world was flat and Columbus sailed

I had baggy-pants rags and the man who they'd nailed
To the rotating bed rolled down the catwalk
And took blood from the goose out of 'Jack and the Beanstalk' 
The spaced-out yuppie with the Coke-machine brain
Singing 'Who's your daddy?' on the yellow toy train
Fifteen pens in the dead woman's chest
From the face-painted puppy in the smoker's ring vest
With the jingly bells and the surgical gloves
And the two-for-one special on the cannibal doves
I've been told I'm too young to teach
Mathematical equations so instead I preach
Don't repeat anything that you read
You'll wind up purple as a pox and you'll bleed
Chocolate milk and cod-liver dirt
The lady in the cake drops a penguin down your shirt 
So fly away with the French vampire's moon
Beaten to death with a musical spoon
As an angry guitar, all drunk in the bar
Falls on its face and melts in the tar
Where the antelope were when the West was won
And the shadows weren't when the light was shone 
Dancing potato, dressed up in drag
Kisses a school bus and sits on the bag
Of the nine-eyed candle, nowhere to run
Too many drinks and not enough fun
For the hospital gowns with the birds on their collars
Six hundred murders, nine hundred dollars
In the pineapple sky full of glorious gloom
All the scientists die, not enough room
On top of the box, all painted in red,
For the rickety bones and the Santa Claus head
That grin like gorillas on every page
As the milkman slides down the magic rib-cage
At the creepy disco, jivin' live-wire
Paper thin puppets playin' with fire
From the French Revolution and concert backstage
Throw pigs at the rhino and hide from the rage 
Of the cartoon judge with the beaver in his pants
Smack it in the face, take kung-fu stance
As grasshopper jumps and the embassy runs
Escaping the heat of millennial suns
From left of Mars, near the hamburger joint,
You're left wondering... 
What's the point?