Cockatoos

I, the Aussie, teeter over the cliff of procrastination,

But I never follow through, because ‘Do it!’ they screech to the whole wide nation!

Those pathetic, pedantic, petty parrots.

They waltz around, showing off their yellow crests.

All snark and perfect, like ‘Hey, I’m the best!’

Feathers the colour of a gleaming pearl,

Eyes as judgmental as a teenage girl's. 

Anger bubbles inside, like an overboiling kettle.

I’m so passionate about this I fear I will never settle.

Those preposterous, prized, pessimistic parrots.

Fed up, I am, with the infamous cockatoo.

I hate them, and if you live in Australia, you will too.

Don’t say you weren’t warned,

Don’t say there were headlights and you were a deer, 

For down under there is a thing to fear,

Not spiders, nor snakes,

Now we’ve raised the stakes,

Be afraid, I tell you,

For this bird belongs in a zoo.

And it is indeed those pitiless, pigheaded, peevish parrots.