USB

Unites programs and files
Never out of fashion
It serves as a reminder and a storage system
Very likely to be awesome
Erases data due to damage
Requires only a small amount of money
Side assistance isn’t required
Aside from limited life it’s actually really good
Lots of space for everything

Sadly inedible
Extremely hard and stiff
Recognised by all computers
It stores things for me
Always will be sad if lost
Looks like plastic and metal

Backs up files
USBs are cheaper to use to back up with than other things
Smaller than a floppy disk.