By Angela Gardner
Get lucky, get plucky. Passing
— just passing through — not passing
Buck, or Chaz, or Lou
‘And how are you chookie?’
Was that a swing and a miss?
And was that miss, a Miss or a Mister
— using pronoun he, she or ze?
(‘it’s okay, don’t be afraid to ask’).
Ze boy stood on the burning deck —
You know that boy. While you, cis
gendered, (not sissy) stammer LGBTIQ
and stutter — was that a boy!
Who put the T in el-gee-bee-tee-eye-queue
MtF / FtM
WTF it all happens here —
Did you say shave? Tracheal shave,
Now there’s a shave!
I’ve heard it all (well maybe not!)
Electrolysis, jaw re-contouring, lip lifts
Believe me all this costs.
Just give me the drugs
— make that HRT
Hormone Replacement The-rah-py
(Think about it – that’s not just transpeople).
So featherlight and fabulous
Let’s watch the naughty (but oh so nice)
Miss Victoria Sponge demonstrate how
at the ATSA & PFLAG Bake-Off
a moment on the lips is forever
on the hips.
Her ingredient list
medical, hormonal, guidance and support
And You think this is confusing!
Oven temperature? Time to consult a...
Medical practitioner, a therapist
perhaps a conversion calculator?
On the burning deck cream together
the butter and sugar — until
— light and fluffy.
“You know luv, actually I’m not sure
more like something in-between
but with a male nose...”
It’s time to take the rhino out of rhinoplasty
to take Norma
Away from normative (she’s fabulous)
then peel off the wrapping and
if confused set aside 5 minutes
Dust liberally with icing sugar and enjoy.
And you chookie? How are you?
How are you enjoying life
at the trans gender BBQ!
does the Q in BBQ stand for anything?...)