I'm Still Here

At the start of the day I’m hated, the middle of the day I’m despised but part of my days I’m an abomination. During my time in this school has been reckless my hair is a mess, my clothes are trash but most of all my life is obtuse. My fear is like a bullet to the head, my hatred is like a ball of rocks, gas and fire being thrown at me deliberately. My anger is like my whole world being shattered to pieces that never existed in the first place. Somebody help me please I’m scared of the way the wind blows in my hair, I’m scared of the way my face shows, I’m jealous of the way people have fun and I’m just... Huh just angry at the way I’m acting now so I ask myself this question how did I ended up in this mess, why am I like this I wonder who did this to me, why they did this to me or maybe did I do this to myself all I’m asking is to make is to please just make it stop me feeling this way it hurts so bad I want to go back and hit rewind back to the past and think of my decisions, I want to feel the breeze on the beach like I used to, I want to wear beautiful clothes like I used to and I want to read the symbols of my country like I used to but instead I’m stuck like this, like I fell in a pool full of deep emotions. I need answers I want to know why, answers would help me so much please if only someone could learn to understand me the way they used to. When the sun sets I no longer see bright beautiful skies I see grey mist surrounded by this dead smell even though it is my favourite part of the day is the night even though it’s dark sparks ignite into a million lights and at the end of the day “I’m still here”.