Self-destruction

As I lay here cold, free of the heat that once caressed my veins
I thank you
For the thick air that drowned my lungs
The sting that left me numb
The sting I still pine for

I would lock two fingers around your skin
Let your deadly substance dangerously burn
Leaving my mouth parched
The rim covered in a thick blanket
The layers would suffocate all the liquid in my mouth
And it became as dry as an eternal drought
Then I used to part my lips
and let the hurricane from inside roam free

In spite of all this
I lie here and think, ‘why I am expressing gratitude toward you?’
I ought to be expressing gratitude toward myself
You’re a small powerful killing phenomenon
But I used your power to kill myself